There's No Place Like Gnome
By P. J. Taylor, Jan 9 2018 11:10AM
So, it’s been a while since I’ve updated my blog with any real news. And that’s mainly because I’ve had no news to report plus I’ve had a few health issues too. With a bit of luck these issues will remain in 2017 and not raise their ugly heads in the forthcoming year.
However, I do have a couple of samples and/or bits and pieces from one of the books that I am currently working which I can share. The book is titled, The Dungeons of Doom or There’s No Place Like Gnome.
The first sample (below) will appear at the very front of the book. The author’s current name, however, will probably change before the book is finally completed.
‘About the Author
Augustus Crumplefoot is the successful author of more than twenty bestselling books including the hugely popular '101 Ways to Avoid Being Caught and Eaten by a Particularly Dumb Ogre', 'Another 101 Ways to Avoid Being Caught and Eaten by a Particularly Dumb Ogre' and 'If You're Ever Caught and Eaten by a Particularly Dumb Ogre then you Probably Deserved It'. For the last twenty years he has been living within the shadow of the Mountains of Madness with his cat, Colin, and his Owl, Roger. He does not take kindly to visitors unless they are accompanied by a particularly large packet of jelly babies or strawberry bonbons.’
At the front my new novel there is also a description of the three types of races that feature within the story. I will update this over the next few weeks. The book also comes with a warning to children which is below:
Due to the contents within this book and after a number of unfortunate accidents that took place when it was first published within the southern Ogre kingdoms, Magical Maelstrom books are legally bound to make you aware of the following health and safety advice:-
DO NOT attempt to cast any spells yourself unless you are a wizard or wizardess who has attained at least a level five or higher in sorcery.
DO NOT consume any Slither Worm unless you have roasted it over a fire for at least ninety minutes and checked to ensure that the cooked worm is fully white throughout.
DO NOT attempt to fight any monsters yourself unless you are a Knight, Cavalier or Champion who has attained a level 10 or greater in swordsmanship.
DO NOT attempt to use swords, axes or any other type of weapon unless you have been to an official weapon school and have a certificate to prove it. A list of fully recognised weapon schools can be found in most kingdoms.
DO NOT talk to any strangers, goblins or fire-breathing dragons.’
Until next time . . .